Self-Sacrifice

 Though it never ended in blood and tears, I decided I had enough of these kind of decisions alright. When I was a little private school girl in elementary school, fate bestowed an unkindly finger upon me. That day, I was given a choice of great ambivalence. For those whose elementary school experience has been nothing but a distant memory, you may find it very hard to relate. The little girls were divided up into tiny subunits and mini-societies where each group was very much well-aware of the other's enmity and existence. I, sadly, belonged to no group. Being the new girl sure does have its cons, I had to transfer into a school where I knew no one, and no one had an interest of knowing me. Fortunately, I was not alone. There was another girl who faced similar situations one month ago, and hadn't since then, found a best friend. Immediately she took me under her wing so I never had to stray from group to group bagging for a lab partner. There was one day when lightening stroke upon a girl from one group and she asked me to join them for lunch. You'd have to realize that in elementary school there is no " casual conversation". Each word was chosen with well meaning and each action was done with discretion. What she had asked me, in elementary schoolgirl language was, " Hey, you seemed lonely. Want to ditch your friend and join our group?" I remembered standing there very much bewildered. Despite the fact that I had a best friend to stick with, a large part of me still wanted to be in the main crowd and now that part of me seemed to be exploding. Joining the group would be extremely to my benefit, but what of my friend? I remembered thinking quietly to myself. In the end, I remembered my timid self remaining silence for so long that the girl simply walked away. That was my way of saying no, and as I see her prideful gate, I was more and more certain of my decision. I was glad that I chose a friend over popularity. I was proud of myself for making such a choice as well. I think, no matter how hard it is, one should always choose a person over his or her own benefits. Of course, this is much more easily said than done.